It was pointed out to me over on the "Boom Goes The Dynamite" page that this site is now the #1 Google result for the search phrase "big dumb redneck".

NEEEHAAAA! I SURE IS PROUD! Thank-y Google.

http://www.google.com/search?q=big+dumb+redneck&btnG=Google+Search&hl=en

Imagine all those poor Bubbas out there who spent years devoted to toe-picking and sister-grabbing, all with the hope that one day they might be the #1 Big Dumb Redneck on the internet… and then I swoop in and steal the prize without even trying.

The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated…

Well after 4 long months of leaving this blog to float along in cyberspace like one of those satellites that loses it's orbit… I decided to make a post.

Want to see a complete fucking breakdown on live TV? Check out this clip of a sports report on a campus tv station. Apparently the regular sports guy was out sick, so they had this kid go on-air in his place- with disasterous results.

Be sure to listen for his final line after the newscaster thanks him– "hhhYeah" with a tearful quiver in his voice. Yikes, what a douche-chill moment.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W45DRy7M1no

My apologies to anyone who tried to post a comment to my blog today. I’m working on a new anti-spam hack for Wordpress and due to my sloppy-coding, any attempt to post a comment resulted in the message: You are a rotten blog-spamming bastard. Go away.

I didn’t notice the error at first because it didn’t effect my own comments(since I was logged in). The anti-spam code is fixed now and ready for the testing phase. Hopefully only the real "blog-spamming bastards" will get that message now

Let me warn you: This is one MEAN, disturbing, depressing video

A retard, a cripple, and a dumb redneck… sounds like the setup for a bad joke, right? Nope, it’s all too real. This is the cast that makes up the melodrama known as Japanese Retard Wrestling.

Apparently, in Japan they regularly hold WWE-style wrestling matches for the handicapped. Some bubba got his hands on one of these tapes and decided that the event would be much more entertaining if he added his own unique commentary to the action. Unfortunately… he was right. I can’t stop watching this thing. It’s like staring at a car wreck: It’s horrible, it makes you sick, but you can’t turn away.

Enjoy the video, and see you in hell.

Japanese Retard Wrestling

Well, pretend super powers anyway. Check out this video of LARPing(Live Action Role Playing).

LARPing Video

Notice the chick in the foreground clapping at the end? LOL The only thing worse than a jibbering retard is a jibbering retard with a cheering section.

LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! I’m guessing that this guy doesn’t need his magic lightning bolts to chase the women away…

The Canadian government has banned a series of violent PSAs.

Watch The Video (2.13 MB)

From what I can tell, the intent of the PSA is to teach proper serving technique to diner waitresses. The spot chronicles an incident in which a waitress delivers sloppy service to a customer, and is then corrected using the recommended procedure.

…Post help for the intellectually challenged

Every once in a while I like to go through the Mudbomb.com traffic logs to see where some of my web traffic is coming from. This traffic log includes a list of all the search words and phrases that folks have used to find this site on the major search engines.

Here are the 10 strangest search terms and phrases used to find this site:

10. "staring ed powers"- I just had to look this one up: Turns out, Ed Powers is a porno director. As for the "staring" part, I couldn’t find any reference to whether or not he holds a glance longer than is polite. Anyway, I dunno why this phrase points to mudbomb.com since there’s no reference here to Ed Powers or his ocular habits.

9. "barney bush’s dog"- Indeed there is a picture of Bush and his dog on mudbomb. However, I doubt that it was the heart-warming "our President and his lil’ friend"-type pic that this person was looking for…

8. "hemp symbol swimsuits"- "Afraid all the hot chicks at the beach won’t know what a loser you are?" I really wonder what one of these swimsuits would look like. Is it just a big pot leaf across the ass or what? Oh well, either way there are none to be found on this site.

7. "big pile of crap"- Okay, makes sense that this one would point here.

6. "stuffed deers butt"- Yes, there actually is a stuffed deer’s butt on this site. I’m just amazed that someone is looking for that.

5. "big boy"- Eeeeeeeew

4. "butt"- Makes me laugh that someone did a search for that. Maybe a guy searching for porn but still too repressed to use the word "ass"… Wonder if he also tried "bottom", "derriere", and "fanny"?

3. "ob-gyn"- I’m only an amateur, but sure, I’ll take a look.(snaps on the gloves)

2. "burn down the city of detroit"- All-righty… I’ve got the gasoline. I’ve got the matches. …Wonder if I can find any helpful tips on the web…

1. "posing a big ass"- I like to think that this search was done by a large lady who just wanted to look more attractive in family photos. Wish I could help, but there’s no "big ass posing" info to be found on mudbomb.com.

How about a calendar that displays a picture of a different meteor rock each month? Sounds pretty boring, eh? BUT, what if those monthly pictures have a hot CHICK posing with the meteor rock. Now, it sounds EXCITING, right? Now you want one, don’t you? …Me neither. But apparently the owner of this site thinks that someone will. He’s selling the calendars for 20 bucks a pop.

Notice that in the ad he says that this chick is a "professional glamour model". Apparently, in the UK, if you’ve still got a full set of teeth you’re a "glamour model".

Man, there’s some strange stuff on eBay.

Check out this auction for a stuffed Deer’s butt that has been fashioned into a face by some Norman Bates-esque taxidermist. Can you imagine the pain-staking time and effort that went into carving that face into the dead flesh of a deer? Blech! Truly disturbing!

Auction Link

I won’t ruin the joke by commenting on it. Just check out the site.

Sensitive, politically-correct types need not apply. You’ll just get your 100% hemp-made, eco-friendly panties in a twist.

http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/