Ladies & Gentlemen, The President of the United States
Why oh why do Bush’s handlers let him speak in public? Can’t they just smear his gums with peanut butter the way they did Mr. Ed? Then they could have someone coherent address the nation for him.
Below are a few of Bush’s notable quotes:
"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well”
"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment”
"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants."
"They misunderestimated me.”
"[T]he illiteracy level of our children are appalling."
"There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee… that says fool me once, shame on… shame on you. Fool me… can’t get fooled again."