Man, I’m ashamed of myself. I know it’s mean-spirited, but I just laugh myself silly every time I visit the Fat Chicks In Party Hats web site. There’s a spark of comic genius somewhere in that combo of fat chicks, party hats, and insulting pigeon-English captions.
So, you’re on a popular tv talk show and your glasses are a little schmutzed up. You don’t have anything to clean them with. What do you do?
Well, you grab the clothes of a woman you’ve never met before and wipe your dirty glasses off on her. Sounds insane doesn’t it? Not if you’ve grown up living the life of privilege that GW Jr. has. Apparently, everyone else in the world is just here for this "spoiled rich kid" to wipe his specs on.
A private group of developers has taken it upon themselves to create a multiplayer mod for Grand Theft Auto! That’s right, you can now share all the plane-crashing, car-smashing, machine-gunning goodness with your friends online.
The only problem is: the mod isn’t quite ready for prime-time. Online play suffers from SEVERE lag. I’m talking about the kind of lag where you’re shooting at a guy who moved 30 seconds ago. Even worse, there’s no anti-cheat system in the game, so every server has several "hacked-mod" cheaters that no one can kill.
On the bright side: Development is on-going, with new patches being released all of the time. So, eventually we may have an actual playable GTA multiplayer mod!
I won’t ruin the joke by commenting on it. Just check out the site.
Sensitive, politically-correct types need not apply. You’ll just get your 100% hemp-made, eco-friendly panties in a twist.
Why oh why do Bush’s handlers let him speak in public? Can’t they just smear his gums with peanut butter the way they did Mr. Ed? Then they could have someone coherent address the nation for him.
Below are a few of Bush’s notable quotes:
"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well”
"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment”
"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants."
"They misunderestimated me.”
"[T]he illiteracy level of our children are appalling."
"There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee… that says fool me once, shame on… shame on you. Fool me… can’t get fooled again."
The most depressing thing about Reagan’s death is the "sympathy boost" that GW Jr. seems to be getting in the election polls. Not that I’m a BIG Reagan fan, but GW IS NO REAGAN! I don’t think Reagan vacationed 42% of his first 8 months in office…
I’m not the only one upset by the comparison of Bush II to Ronnie. Reagan’s son Ron Reagan Jr. is not exactly thrilled either. "My father crapped bigger ones than George Bush," Ron Jr. said in a recent interview. "The overall thrust of this administration is not my father’s — these people are overly reaching, overly aggressive, overly secretive, and just plain corrupt. I don’t trust these people."
Granted, these comments lose a little of their impact when you realize they’re coming from a ballet dancer… but the point is still valid.
Michael Moore is a bit of a load. He represents the "annoying liberal" side of the Democratic party and as such, can be a bit hard to take for longer than five minutes. Nevertheless, his new documentary on 9-11/Bush looks like it will be worth a look. Let’s hope that the content is a little less misleading and staged than Bowling For Columbine.
The Jimmy Kimmel Show was pulled off the air last night. Apparently, while being interviewed at the Lakers/Detroit Pistons game, Kimmel said "I hope the Pistons don’t win because if they do the fans will burn down the city of Detroit". An ABC affiliate in Detroit was so "outraged" that they decided to pull Kimmel’s late-night talk show off the air in Michigan. The ABC home office soon followed suit, pulling the show nationwide.
Let’s forget that Jimmy Kimmel was just making a silly joke for a second… Is ABC trying to pretend that they don’t burn down houses in Detroit? Detroit’s "Hell Night" arsons are known worldwide and are even a major plot point in the blockbuster film The Crow. Saying that they like to burn down houses in Detroit is like saying that they like barbecue in Texas or that they like Springsteen in Jersey… it’s just a simple fact.
Instead of banning the Kimmel show in Detroit, maybe they should be banning gasoline and matches…
Man, there’s some strange stuff on eBay.
Check out this auction for a stuffed Deer’s butt that has been fashioned into a face by some Norman Bates-esque taxidermist. Can you imagine the pain-staking time and effort that went into carving that face into the dead flesh of a deer? Blech! Truly disturbing!
I recently picked up a copy of the PC version of True Crime: Streets of LA. In this game, you play Nick Kang, an undercover cop trying to stop a city-wide crime wave while simultaneously trying to solve his father’s murder. Over the course of the game, you attempt to complete increasingly complex missions involving fighting, shooting, driving, and general mayhem. You are also able to take on various "side-missions" should you choose. Sound familiar yet?
Well it should, because True Crime is basically a Grand Theft Auto copy(some might say rip-off, but let’s keep this nice). This time, instead of playing as a criminal, you are playing as a policeman, but there seems to be little distinction since you are still able to steal cars, attack innocent pedestrians, and engage in a multitude of other illegal activities in the course of your investigation. The only difference is that (more…)
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